Images

this blog is the s*hit

http://blog.noahkalina.com/

he is one of the previously mentioned paperbrigade alumni. I decided to check up on some of the photographers and find out what they have been up to in the last few years. This blog is witty, interesting, has good music, and great articles. Its one of the few that ive seen which dont come off annoying or too uncomfortably personal like mine tend to.

Highland Park

It is strange to be in a moment that you know is going to change you. When I first came into Highland Park i was amazed at the amount of houses that were condemned and abandoned; the next thing i noticed was despite this disrepair the neighborhood was still beautiful and had some sense of what it used to be. Rachel and I decided to go for a drive because it was such a nice day and she knew that I would love this area... she was right. I have such an addiction to places like this because they are so much more authentic and real than places like the Fan or Monument. Perhaps I just have a need to see things that are different from me to get some perspective but without a doubt, Highland Park did that today. I walked up to a porch where there were kids playing outside and there were three women sitting together talking. Two sat holding canned meat and crackers while the third, who i would find out was "Ms. B" smoked her cigarette. I was denied photos initally, which was fine. I just wanted to talk to them anyway and get an idea of where they stood on some things. All it really took was asking them how they felt about richmond and an hour later I was still there talking to them and they had agreed to let me get a few photos as long as I ok'd the ones i chose to use. I know im supposed to be objective but this was too much to keep that part of myself shut off. some of the things they said put a lump in my throat and made me want to punch someone all at the same time. Things as simple as being able to buy food that isnt rotten and overpriced, or being able to send their kids to a school that wont have teachers who bribe the students with good grades to give them drugs. My little middle class brain was spinning. I cannot understand this kind of life and quite honestly I felt ignorant when i was talking to them. Ms. B said that it was so different when she was younger and the neighborhood changed when the police got crooked and parents started losing control of their kids. I can't say that I have any answers for any of this stuff, she said that people only listen when there are a lot of them, but if its just one or a couple they get ignored... seems that most things work that way. Putting money into communities isnt always an answer and moving people out can't be the solution either because that just means theyre forced into their families homes, shelters, the streets, or a car. The halfway house on the corner of the block sits three houses down from a drugdealer who is kind enough to make housecalls. Its not an easy thing to walk into some of these places and can be downright stupid. But so far, these people have been incredibly warm and open with me, and its taught me a lot. Its forced me to look at my own ideas about what it means to be successful and the kinds of things that pass me by when i am not taking the time to pay attention to it. Its so easy to miss out on the things that Im not looking for and today was one of those days where I walked away with more hope instead of less. Near the end of our conversation Ms. B's daughter said "somebody gotta start somewhere" and I know meeting them today makes me feel even more determined to make this series work.

Im not with the FBI

Today was fantastic. Beautiful weather and the kind of day where going out to shoot is hard not to do. I decided to head across 95 and go into some neighborhoods I didnt know about (possibly stupid but i went anyway). I saw a group of men sitting outside in a yard and mustered up the courage to approach them. I must say I have few recollections of a less warm reception but I did it anyway- character building or something lame like that. Either way after a few akward moments and me giving my little "im a student/im not a cop" speech one of the men agreed to talk with me and we walked down the street towards his home. I spoke with another younger guy who was doing yardwork and a family that I gave my number to in the hopes that they might actually call me. Why is it always the families that take my number and dont want photos? its free photos of your kids... dont people eat that shit up? anyway I continued on into Church Hill where i immediately found a couple and their three dogs who were willing to be photographed as well. From there I basically wandered the area looking for people on their porches or in the street. I must say today I made a lot of new friends and only got hit on a couple of times... hopefully the photos and audio are legit too. I got a lot more mixed reactions as well. I was starting to believe that most people were upset with Richmond for the way the city was handling renovation and its "facelift" but today proved me quite wrong. I met several residents that really enjoyed Richmond and were happy with the changes being made... especially in Church Hill. Remembering where all these homes are so I can give them copies of their photos will be an effort for a mind such as mine but I am feeling really good about where this series is heading and I'm going to try to shoot some more in the early evenings this week so I have a good amount before Spring Break. As I was leaving at one point a guy asked me what I do for fun and I told him "this". and i meant it.



oh and also at the same house they informed me that they had shot and killed an intruder the year before.
... yea.

a bit of a recap

So, as you have probably noticed this is my first official blog of the semester. I am not proud of this but I would like to officially state that despite my lack of production online there has been quite a bit outside of the cyber world.

I'll begin with saying that this project has already opened me up so much more than what I was prepared for or had anticipated. I have had quite a time here in Richmond feeling like this is my home and getting to know the city itself not just the pieces of it that VCU is able to show me. In the couple of months that I have been working on this project I have already found so much that I had not ever expected. The original idea was to go into different neighborhoods in the city and take family portraits in front of their homes. My hypothesis was that each neighborhood would in fact have quite a different demographic and even a different attitude towards my request. I wanted to get a good mix of the varied architecture as well as economic disparities that occur even within the same block. Much of what I love about Richmond is the history and the sense of pride that people take in calling it their home. While I have never really felt that same sentiment for different reasons I knew that there had to be people out there that did. So i set off with my camera and a recorder in order to keep track of all the addresses, names, and details of what I found because I am the kind of person that has lost her keys for months at a time. Anyway, the first day presented a significant amount of frustrations, it was shit weather and I also didnt really know how i wanted to frame whoever I was able to photograph. I had taken some photos of my neighbor accross the street but I was really hoping for more than single shots because a huge part of what i am trying to find involves the family dynamics as well as the setting. I had driven around for a while, not seeing many people outside and the few times I walked around to talk to people nobody was interested. So i changed plans. I just started walking up to people and asking questions... stupid ones like where other families lived and then went from there. People hate when you want something from them and actually i hate asking so it was really more fun than i had thought to just start talking to people instead of trying to waltz into their homes and get a photo so I could leave again. One older woman agreed to help me but she was really the only taker of the day. I had tried posting on craigslist but to no avail and while I had a really enjoyable Sunday afternoon I was not much closer to the series that was so clear in my head. My second day took me up into Church Hill. This has always been my favorite part of Richmond and I dont know that I could even tell you why. I think perhaps I like the parks or the little town feel that it has in its first few blocks up the hill from ugly Shockoe Slip. Whatever it is I knew that I had to use Church Hill in this project. Another afternoon spent knocking on doors and shooting the shit with people left me with a few new friends but only a handful of new photos. I think I was still suffering from some sort of inhibition at that point. I understand that much of this idea was based upon the assumption that different parts of neighborhoods would have different opinions about Richmond and how the city was being managed or reconstructed. What i didnt properly prepare myself for was that I could be lumped into that. People are skeptical of me and my motives most of the time, I am sure that this is something that I am going to have to become comfortable with or I will get nowhere with the kind of work I want to do. But so far, each afternoon, photos or none I have learned a great deal about what it takes to put myself out there and how to approach people in different situations. The kinds of questions to ask as well as the ones to skip. Even the way i carry myself and especially the clothes im wearing all influence what kind of things people think about me. In some ways its made me far more self conscience but in most its helped me to understand the kinds of signals that I send out without being aware of them.

are you tired of me yet?

So finally I decided to pull the reigns in a bit and hoof it around Oregon Hill, the lovely little community that i call home. I must admit that I knew it would be a challenge considering that much of the outer VCU area consists only of college students like myself who would either be sleeping on a saturday afternoon or already drunk. Im stereotyping of course but I was nothing compared to the "originals" that I ended up coming across. Using my skills of detection I stuck mostly to the manicured lawns that had toys on the porch or at least weren't covered in decaying lawn furniture and PBR cans. Somehow, I managed to meet nearly 7 people that had either lived in Oregon Hill their whole lives or raised their entire families there. I was a bit shocked at this luck but it proved to me what a tight nit place this used to be. Most of them were the only ones left within their families or only had a kid that lived nearby. It was quite depressing actually to hear how close everyone used to be in comparison to what it has become. One woman named Roxanne who didnt want to be photographed told me the most about how the Hill used to look and the people that have come in and changed it. There is a committe called OHIC which was supposed to be in charge of helping residents fix up their old houses but be able to stay in them... I met one woman who felt that OHIC had helped her and the rest all spat on it and wanted to report them to the government. She told me that the neighborhood used to have block parties every weekend and theyd all hang out drinking by a joint called the "Chuck Wagon" which apparently was the place to be. But she said that slowly people started moving out and they couldnt afford the houses once VCU started getting bigger and now the police are around so much that they arent even allowed to be out on their porches anymore. She described it as the redneck neighborhood but said that none of them are left because everything's changed so much. Most of what i heard is that everyone is really disillusioned by what has happened in Oregon Hill. They are sad that the places they grew up with can't get by anymore and that the families that they grew up with have been forced to move because rent has skyrocketed. One of the older women that I spoke with was literally almost in tears as I talked to her. Her housemate/husband/brother/not sure even got made and stormed off the porch. I was in the line of fire on that one but it really made me remember why i wanted to do this project in the first place and how much peoples lives can be changed and often in negative ways. I am feeling good for the first time in a while about all of this and while that afternoon had its really intense moments I feel like this is the kind of effort that I know will be worthwhile and really help to get people thinking. If nothing else, I feel more of a part of this community and I am hopeful that they will see that all us college kids arent so bad after all.

And i might be in Africa this time next year. which is cool.

direction

So after a long semester I have finally seen the movie War Photographer, a documentary following James Nachtwey, one of the most well known war photographers of all time. There have been many questions that this semester has made me face and it was fascinating to get insight into the mind of someone who has been travelling the world for the last 25 years watching every kind of destruction, misery, suffering, and injustice that could possibly exist. While I do not know the direction that photography will take me, i do know that the questions that are discussed within this film are essential to identifying why it is that photojournalists do what they do. It is not difficult to understand why many people would feel that photographers such as Nachtwey, Sebastiao Salgado, and Kadir Von Lohuizen have been questioned and criticized for the work that they do. It could seem that these people have literally made a solid career benefitting from the pain and suffering of others. There are always questions of ethics at hand when there is someone behind the lens and a subject in front of it. Pictures can easily seem aloof and calculating if the photographer isnt constatly aware of his or her placement within the situation and the way that their perspective influences it. As the months have passed and I have spent countless hours looking at the photographs of the people who have decided to make this their life's work the message seems to be the common thread between them all despite their different styles and personal voices. Each has made this their life. It is not an aspect of it, or something that they come and go from, as most would from their jobs everyday. This is something that they life moment to moment. They have all made serious sacrifice in order to show others the atrocities that so quickly become statistics or pages in history books. I think it becomes apparent when the photographer is not passionate about the subject matter, the photos have an emptiness and insincerity that throws itself in front of even the best composition. I have been told over and over that photojournalism requires one to be hungry at all times, to always have something happening and to always find the shot even if it doesnt present itself. The challenge for subject matter such as is dealt with in War Photographer and other similar projects, is that the hunger can alter the motives behind the work. Understanding those that you photograph is essential, becoming a part of their world is essential, understanding the lines that should not be crossed is essential, and holding on to your integrity (whatever that may be for each person) is essential. Already, I have been challenged by the road blocks that present themselves in difficult situations, but these road blocks are revealing themselves to be more of a test. If the desire to make the images is overcome by the doubt that accompanies frustrations, than better to leave them as snapshots within your mind. If you are willing to put the effort in to get the shot, then do it and do it well.
While my current project has not come to light the way id hoped, i am continuing to shoot. This time, focusing only on one subject, Curtis. In addition, I have started several other series in order to see what kinds of avenues I can travel in the meantime. There are countless pieces of Richmond that I have interest in and countless photos that would feel worthwhile to pursue. The past week has really served as a rejuvination in why I began with this project and why I need to force myself to shoot any and everything, just to see where it leads me.

VMFA

I wont pretend that VMFA wasn't a bit of a pain in the ass but the slides came out better than expected and it was worth my time. It felt good to send my work out into the unknown and be pleased with it. Thats a first.