Andersenz

proof.









i know ive showed these to you Paul but anyone else who has an opinion on painting or not would be appreciated. I am debating between black or white borders if i do anything and depending on where i am hanging it, the back panel would be the same as the wall. Im leaning towards all natural. thoughts?

LIGHT BOXES!!!!

a long weekend of cutting, measuring, and vice gripping.... the boxes are nearly finished and i will post photos soon.

TJ Demos

so... Wow. My head is swimming a bit but when i say i enjoyed this lecture im not trying to get in good graces or kiss anyones feet (that would be you Paul). Many of the ideas presented in his lecture are extremely relevant to my interests and the subject matter that i tend to pursue which made what Im sure could have been a long hour into a really wonderful opportunity to discover some reference points and get insights into other artists dealing with social/political issues in different mediums and styles. There are about 100 different branches of thought that I went through as he was talking but I'll stick to some of the main issues that seemed most relevant and interesting for the topics he adressed. The first real hook for me was his qualification of the politics of aesthetics (I believe in reference to Steve McQueen). This resonated with me because it is such an integral part of documentary style film making as well as photography. There are so many different approaches and techniques that can be used when deciding how to handle aesthetics and imagery within one's work and no decision can be taken without understanding its possible impact. I was extremely interested in the use of the ambiguous character versus a more realistic portrayal of the people he encountered because it really does have a large influence upon the audience's perception of the subject and their place within the environment. I tend to be drawn to what is considered a more traditional and straightforward presentation but I like the gray area that comes with combining a very real place, time, and individual with a more abstracted image. This gives the story a different kind of potential than it had before. But again, as TJ mentioned, this also creates the possibility of losing the person within the environment and leaving them without true identification or leverage to become part of a bigger idea or movement which is typically the intention of documentary projects in the first place. It is a fine balance to be able to show the character of a person or group of peoples without injecting too much of anything which might compromise the effectiveness of the work.... which brings me to the second topic that really stuck with me and got me quite worked up towards the end. The discussion of the "success" of these artists who show their work in galleries but deal with subject matter that is considered to be something that requires mass consumption to some degree if it is considered insightful, meaningful, or worthwhile. However, while this could be true to a certain end I think deeming any kind of work such as this as a failure is taking away the very core of its purpose and ultimately letting the kinds of ideas that the work is attempting to question have the upper hand. There is quite an obsession with being a certain kind of art and fitting into its mold. I have experienced a lot of this in my time here at VCU. There are rules and legacies that have been handed down long before many of these people even picked up a camera. What i truly respect and appreciate about work such as this is that it is questioning so many of these conventions that we accept as our own truths. It brings up the connection between artist and audience but is not defined by it's qualified success or failure. I think that if any of the people that were mentioned in the lecture today had any kind of hesitation about whether or not they believed in what they were doing or the value of pursuing the effects essentially that come from globalization they would not have created such relevant and thought-provoking work. They would have their insecurities and questions littered all over their films and they would be unbearable to watch. It is easy to want to define things, it is easy to say that something is understood... but the reason that documentary has such integrity for me is that it is undefinable, there is no right or wrong answer, there are no clear definitions of current thoughts or movements. It is not until we are able to look back at time and understand what we were and what we are becoming. Whether an image is clear enough to show the 10th hour of stubble on a man's cheek or so blurred that we are left with a silhouette against some romantically lit background, the stories are able to build upon one another. I dont believe that any single work will ever stop the negative aspects of globalization for example. At best we can hope that the discussion continues and that people see it is worthwhile to understand the devastating effects that this kind of boldness can have upon an entire continent as it has in the majority of Africa. It frightens me to think that it takes CNN or Headline news to get people to care about something or at the very least to spend time thinking of it and perhaps changing their own actions even in a minor way. As artists we are here to make comments on the society we live in... I would hope that being successful in this aspect is not reliant upon the rigid definitions of success that exist in the exact same society that we are here to question.

Alone vs lonely

When i was about 16 years old I read the book Into the Wild by John Krakauer. Most people know the story these days because it was recently made into a film directed by Sean Penn. I watched the movie this weekend and while it didnt do the same for me that the book was able to, it conjured up some of the same feelings that i remember from that point in my life. The book is the story of Chris McCandeless, a young about the same age as I am now who decides to erase his identity and make his way accross the country without any kind of money or plan beyond reaching Alaska where he will live alone "in the wild" as he called it. He is extreme in his actions, thoughts, and quite radical with his approach according to most standards. But as I read about the story of his journey I couldnt help but identify with him more than not and began to wonder if he was not radical at all but that the standards of the things around us have become the most radical. I respect him most for the fact that he was very well read, he understood the value of his education which is apparent with his incredibly reflective and well-formed thoughts in his journal, and he was also a dedicated runner which to me shows an apparent strength of will and also that he demanded the best from himself. He had reason and logic and still chose to live a life that most could not handle for even a day. It was quite interesting to note the differences in how i percieved this larger than life character now that I have more years behind me and what surprised me the most was that if anything i understand him more now than i did then but for completely different reasons. He grew up in a broken home, the child of an alcoholic and abusive father, and witnessed some of the ugliest of what people are able to be, on a daily basis. Anyone would run from this. On a very primal level, this need to escape and get away is an urge that most of us will fight at some point. I remember at the age of 5, i packed my minnie mouse suitcase and headed out the door. I only made it 2 blocks where i parked it beneath the branches of a large pine tree but remembering this so vividly to this day makes me thing that some of us just have this pull. A desire to be alone or to at least find some place of solitude where our thoughts can be our own. Where reflection doesnt mean you are ignoring others or missing out on something...

A few days after i read Into the Wild, i also read Tuesday's with Morrie by Mitch Albom.
He hadnt become a literary Starbucks at this point which i can be thankful for because i tend to avoid most of those phenomenons even if they are worthy of my time. The point of mentioning this is that the two books are based on completely contradictive methods of finding oneself and it was quite the mindfuck for someone such as myself in the middle of teenagedom. I remember being so stuck in the question of whether or not it was ourselves or the people around us that should be the anchor, whether or not we could find any kind of permanent answers that would give us solace at our weakest moments, whether being alone meant being lonely or if there were some kind of balance to this life of solitude that has always seemed to quietly draw me in. The kind of work that I want to do relies on this idea of connecting with others, of seeing the ugliness that we present and choosing to focus my efforts on the good that we are capable of. But it is possible to be surrounded by people and still be alone in many ways. If things go as planned I will depart for Sub-saharan Africa in November of the coming year to begin a 2 year service in the Peace Corps. It has surprised me the amount of people who have asked me how i am able to do this, just pick up and leave for such a long time and go put myself in such a new and different world. At first I thought it was because this was the most logical step towards really getting to do the kind of photography I wanted to. It would push me and give me a chance to really challenge myself to understand the kinds of situations that I believe I am willing to put myself in. The closer I get to this reality, the more honest I feel i have to be when i say that it is about this but also about the idea of the horizon. I feel compelled to go further and farther, to push myself to rethink these ideas that have become too concrete in my mind. Perhaps this is selfish but my desire to help others is no less sincere because of it. It seems that the point where Chris McCandeless and I differed the most is in the fact that I treasure the connections with the people who are closest to me so deeply that this time I face apart from them doesn't frighten me. They understand this part of me and embrace it, while I cannot say I understand it even now I am determined to use it in whatever way i can in my life to make it something that propels me in a positive direction.

Alan Berliner

This was easily my favorite guest lecturer that has come during the last 3 years. I really appreciated that the film itself was what he showcased instead of a bunch of worthless stories about how he grew up or where he went to school. I think most of the time in situations like lectures people feel like they have to sell themselves somehow so i have enormous respect for the fact that he allowed his work to do the majority of the talking. The issues brought up in "Nobody's Business" like identity, family, responsibility, as well as social responsibility and connection are all things that I tend to be drawn to and pursue in my own work. There was an immense sense of control, compassion, intent, perspective, and sincerity that gave the film a necessary foundation and backbone. It would be easy to lose hold of the audience at countless times if something got too personal but i felt that he had a very acute sense of how to use the film with the audio that he had gotten from his interviews. There is really no other word besides amazement when I thought of the amount of time and energy that went into finding so many vintage clips as well as the background information from his own family. His use of humor was also an essential key to keeping the film interesting and enjoyable considering most of the topics that were discussed (loneliness, a broken family and marriage, and even the holocaust) all have the ability to really change the direction and feeling of the film. He intelligently and articulately managed to somehow cover all of these things and leave without any feelings of sadness, loss, or resentment.

For me, the most powerful part of this story was his ability to relate his own story to that of millions of others. He found common themes within his father's story and by understanding that this was also his own story he was able to relate it to every single person that ended up watching the film. I have come to believe that humility and understanding how small I am in relation to all the other things that exist out there is one of the greatest emotions I can experience. He tapped on this over and over again whether it was the way he chose to lay out a shot or the way he sequenced the interviews... and somehow he brought me back to those feelings. He was never pushy or preachy. His subtlety in mixing all of these ideas blended with his father's brazen charm made this a film that I would readily watch again but also a film that is worth examining because he really is amazing at his craft.

another

I was listening to NPR this afternoon (yes i listen to public radio and i find it incredibly informative and even stimulating) when I caught the interview with a photojournalist named Robin Bowman who has worked for Magnum most of her career covering social conflicts throughout the world and recently shifted her focus to the United States and a self motivated project called "It's Complicated" just released in a book.


http://www.soros.org/initiatives/photography/movingwalls/13#bowman

the website also contains links to some other amazing photography projects that are currently underway as well as opportunites for grants and funding.

tentative series

Looking for some feedback on these images. Let me know which ones you like and which ones need to go. Im still planning on shooting a lot but i've marked the four that I am printing to have ready for Anderson.
alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182083373159876658" /> *1*
*2*


*3*
*4*

Images

this blog is the s*hit

http://blog.noahkalina.com/

he is one of the previously mentioned paperbrigade alumni. I decided to check up on some of the photographers and find out what they have been up to in the last few years. This blog is witty, interesting, has good music, and great articles. Its one of the few that ive seen which dont come off annoying or too uncomfortably personal like mine tend to.

Highland Park

It is strange to be in a moment that you know is going to change you. When I first came into Highland Park i was amazed at the amount of houses that were condemned and abandoned; the next thing i noticed was despite this disrepair the neighborhood was still beautiful and had some sense of what it used to be. Rachel and I decided to go for a drive because it was such a nice day and she knew that I would love this area... she was right. I have such an addiction to places like this because they are so much more authentic and real than places like the Fan or Monument. Perhaps I just have a need to see things that are different from me to get some perspective but without a doubt, Highland Park did that today. I walked up to a porch where there were kids playing outside and there were three women sitting together talking. Two sat holding canned meat and crackers while the third, who i would find out was "Ms. B" smoked her cigarette. I was denied photos initally, which was fine. I just wanted to talk to them anyway and get an idea of where they stood on some things. All it really took was asking them how they felt about richmond and an hour later I was still there talking to them and they had agreed to let me get a few photos as long as I ok'd the ones i chose to use. I know im supposed to be objective but this was too much to keep that part of myself shut off. some of the things they said put a lump in my throat and made me want to punch someone all at the same time. Things as simple as being able to buy food that isnt rotten and overpriced, or being able to send their kids to a school that wont have teachers who bribe the students with good grades to give them drugs. My little middle class brain was spinning. I cannot understand this kind of life and quite honestly I felt ignorant when i was talking to them. Ms. B said that it was so different when she was younger and the neighborhood changed when the police got crooked and parents started losing control of their kids. I can't say that I have any answers for any of this stuff, she said that people only listen when there are a lot of them, but if its just one or a couple they get ignored... seems that most things work that way. Putting money into communities isnt always an answer and moving people out can't be the solution either because that just means theyre forced into their families homes, shelters, the streets, or a car. The halfway house on the corner of the block sits three houses down from a drugdealer who is kind enough to make housecalls. Its not an easy thing to walk into some of these places and can be downright stupid. But so far, these people have been incredibly warm and open with me, and its taught me a lot. Its forced me to look at my own ideas about what it means to be successful and the kinds of things that pass me by when i am not taking the time to pay attention to it. Its so easy to miss out on the things that Im not looking for and today was one of those days where I walked away with more hope instead of less. Near the end of our conversation Ms. B's daughter said "somebody gotta start somewhere" and I know meeting them today makes me feel even more determined to make this series work.

Im not with the FBI

Today was fantastic. Beautiful weather and the kind of day where going out to shoot is hard not to do. I decided to head across 95 and go into some neighborhoods I didnt know about (possibly stupid but i went anyway). I saw a group of men sitting outside in a yard and mustered up the courage to approach them. I must say I have few recollections of a less warm reception but I did it anyway- character building or something lame like that. Either way after a few akward moments and me giving my little "im a student/im not a cop" speech one of the men agreed to talk with me and we walked down the street towards his home. I spoke with another younger guy who was doing yardwork and a family that I gave my number to in the hopes that they might actually call me. Why is it always the families that take my number and dont want photos? its free photos of your kids... dont people eat that shit up? anyway I continued on into Church Hill where i immediately found a couple and their three dogs who were willing to be photographed as well. From there I basically wandered the area looking for people on their porches or in the street. I must say today I made a lot of new friends and only got hit on a couple of times... hopefully the photos and audio are legit too. I got a lot more mixed reactions as well. I was starting to believe that most people were upset with Richmond for the way the city was handling renovation and its "facelift" but today proved me quite wrong. I met several residents that really enjoyed Richmond and were happy with the changes being made... especially in Church Hill. Remembering where all these homes are so I can give them copies of their photos will be an effort for a mind such as mine but I am feeling really good about where this series is heading and I'm going to try to shoot some more in the early evenings this week so I have a good amount before Spring Break. As I was leaving at one point a guy asked me what I do for fun and I told him "this". and i meant it.



oh and also at the same house they informed me that they had shot and killed an intruder the year before.
... yea.

a bit of a recap

So, as you have probably noticed this is my first official blog of the semester. I am not proud of this but I would like to officially state that despite my lack of production online there has been quite a bit outside of the cyber world.

I'll begin with saying that this project has already opened me up so much more than what I was prepared for or had anticipated. I have had quite a time here in Richmond feeling like this is my home and getting to know the city itself not just the pieces of it that VCU is able to show me. In the couple of months that I have been working on this project I have already found so much that I had not ever expected. The original idea was to go into different neighborhoods in the city and take family portraits in front of their homes. My hypothesis was that each neighborhood would in fact have quite a different demographic and even a different attitude towards my request. I wanted to get a good mix of the varied architecture as well as economic disparities that occur even within the same block. Much of what I love about Richmond is the history and the sense of pride that people take in calling it their home. While I have never really felt that same sentiment for different reasons I knew that there had to be people out there that did. So i set off with my camera and a recorder in order to keep track of all the addresses, names, and details of what I found because I am the kind of person that has lost her keys for months at a time. Anyway, the first day presented a significant amount of frustrations, it was shit weather and I also didnt really know how i wanted to frame whoever I was able to photograph. I had taken some photos of my neighbor accross the street but I was really hoping for more than single shots because a huge part of what i am trying to find involves the family dynamics as well as the setting. I had driven around for a while, not seeing many people outside and the few times I walked around to talk to people nobody was interested. So i changed plans. I just started walking up to people and asking questions... stupid ones like where other families lived and then went from there. People hate when you want something from them and actually i hate asking so it was really more fun than i had thought to just start talking to people instead of trying to waltz into their homes and get a photo so I could leave again. One older woman agreed to help me but she was really the only taker of the day. I had tried posting on craigslist but to no avail and while I had a really enjoyable Sunday afternoon I was not much closer to the series that was so clear in my head. My second day took me up into Church Hill. This has always been my favorite part of Richmond and I dont know that I could even tell you why. I think perhaps I like the parks or the little town feel that it has in its first few blocks up the hill from ugly Shockoe Slip. Whatever it is I knew that I had to use Church Hill in this project. Another afternoon spent knocking on doors and shooting the shit with people left me with a few new friends but only a handful of new photos. I think I was still suffering from some sort of inhibition at that point. I understand that much of this idea was based upon the assumption that different parts of neighborhoods would have different opinions about Richmond and how the city was being managed or reconstructed. What i didnt properly prepare myself for was that I could be lumped into that. People are skeptical of me and my motives most of the time, I am sure that this is something that I am going to have to become comfortable with or I will get nowhere with the kind of work I want to do. But so far, each afternoon, photos or none I have learned a great deal about what it takes to put myself out there and how to approach people in different situations. The kinds of questions to ask as well as the ones to skip. Even the way i carry myself and especially the clothes im wearing all influence what kind of things people think about me. In some ways its made me far more self conscience but in most its helped me to understand the kinds of signals that I send out without being aware of them.

are you tired of me yet?

So finally I decided to pull the reigns in a bit and hoof it around Oregon Hill, the lovely little community that i call home. I must admit that I knew it would be a challenge considering that much of the outer VCU area consists only of college students like myself who would either be sleeping on a saturday afternoon or already drunk. Im stereotyping of course but I was nothing compared to the "originals" that I ended up coming across. Using my skills of detection I stuck mostly to the manicured lawns that had toys on the porch or at least weren't covered in decaying lawn furniture and PBR cans. Somehow, I managed to meet nearly 7 people that had either lived in Oregon Hill their whole lives or raised their entire families there. I was a bit shocked at this luck but it proved to me what a tight nit place this used to be. Most of them were the only ones left within their families or only had a kid that lived nearby. It was quite depressing actually to hear how close everyone used to be in comparison to what it has become. One woman named Roxanne who didnt want to be photographed told me the most about how the Hill used to look and the people that have come in and changed it. There is a committe called OHIC which was supposed to be in charge of helping residents fix up their old houses but be able to stay in them... I met one woman who felt that OHIC had helped her and the rest all spat on it and wanted to report them to the government. She told me that the neighborhood used to have block parties every weekend and theyd all hang out drinking by a joint called the "Chuck Wagon" which apparently was the place to be. But she said that slowly people started moving out and they couldnt afford the houses once VCU started getting bigger and now the police are around so much that they arent even allowed to be out on their porches anymore. She described it as the redneck neighborhood but said that none of them are left because everything's changed so much. Most of what i heard is that everyone is really disillusioned by what has happened in Oregon Hill. They are sad that the places they grew up with can't get by anymore and that the families that they grew up with have been forced to move because rent has skyrocketed. One of the older women that I spoke with was literally almost in tears as I talked to her. Her housemate/husband/brother/not sure even got made and stormed off the porch. I was in the line of fire on that one but it really made me remember why i wanted to do this project in the first place and how much peoples lives can be changed and often in negative ways. I am feeling good for the first time in a while about all of this and while that afternoon had its really intense moments I feel like this is the kind of effort that I know will be worthwhile and really help to get people thinking. If nothing else, I feel more of a part of this community and I am hopeful that they will see that all us college kids arent so bad after all.

And i might be in Africa this time next year. which is cool.