stock images

With the knowledge that I have violated the very purpose behind the watermarks on stock photos, I wanted to post some of the images that I found after doing a search for "mental illness in photography". I thought that it would be good to have specific examples of what people have published within this subject. I was able to locate some photos that had been done during the fifties for record keeping purposes and a few from other photographers but for the most part stock photos were all I was able to get real access to online. I was expecting to find the stereotypical striaght jacket shots but somewhat suprised by the photos I have posted here. There were over 130 photos I looked through and many of them showed guns with extremely violent gestures.
Others showed the same kind of violence but manifested though facial expressions or movement. I think it is important to note that obviously there is a large amount of people with the perception that mental illness and violence go hand in hand. It was interesting to see some of the images taken for the state hospitals during the fifties as well but did not really catch me off guard while the others did. When taking these shots out of context they seem cartoonish and bizarre but it becomes even more strange when you think that they were made with something from reality in mind.

Chester House

Today was my first meeting with Sharon Van Pelt, the services supervisor at Chester House. Chester House is a clubhouse program for adults who have experienced persistent mental illness. As it was explained to me, the members are referred by the main Chesterfield mental facility and need some level of inpatient activity to prevent regression. The house is designed to "provide an atmosphere where the guaranteed rights of all members is meaningful to work and relationships, a place to belong, and a place to return." They emphasize the responsibility of the members to be respectful to one another and to really participate in the activities of the community. One of the reasons that this appeals so much to me is that they seem to be very agressive about making positive steps towards recovery and expect their members to acknowledge their role in the process. Ms. Van Pelt explained to me that the members are given different jobs within the house and expected to complete them. They are not just jobs that take up time, but are necessary for the house accomplishing all that it needs to. They strongly support their members pursuing jobs outside the house and have several programs which help to support them in this goal. I was given a tour by one of the members and I was extremely impressed with the facility itself. The main concern of the Chester House was that the members would have to sign different release forms than usual (understandable). Ms. Van Pelt explained to me that there are few rules imposed by the doctors and leaders at the house because so many of the members have been told what to do and how to do it for so much of their lives. It is very important that they make their own decisions and excersise their own judgement. I also explained to her that my hope was to be able to find members who were willing to let me photograph them in their daily lives, i.e. with family or at work if the employer agreed. I think it is important to show that these people are doing everything in their power to make their lives better and give the audience a view of them in roles outside of the house as well. The plan as of now is to return this Thursday and Friday in order to have private meetings with some of the members who are interested in participating in the project to allow them to ask me whatever questions they may have. I realize that this is going to be an intense experience and just visiting today and meeting some of the members in passing gave me an idea of what I have gotten myself into. Even with this in mind I am feeling more determined than ever to make the most of this opportunity, realizing that being welcomed as I have been thus far is unusual. Now I get to start taking photos (finally).

Kadir von Lohuizen

While looking at photo essays online I came upon several striking images and saw that all were done by the same photographer, Kadir von Lohuizen.He was born in the Netherlands and began traveling and taking photos following his graduation from high school. He is associated with the Noor agency, a group of photographers from around the world, all focused in social change and making an impact through their work. I had struggled to find photographers that called themselves human rights activists before locating Lohulzen. I was suprised to find that the agency had been created by the photographers themselves and has extended into the realm of gallery exhibitions as well as publishing books from the photographers. Up to this point, Noor is a very rare organization and while many artists will work with one idea in mind, few make it their only realm. Often it is necessary to go into commercial photography in order to maintain enough income to support any other ventures. It was encouraging to find people that made their ideas a reality and have managed to gain enough support to produce a successful company such as Noor. Lohuizen is associated with Human Rights Watch but has been exhibited in many other venues. His work in Chad were recently recognized but he has traveled to many countries and covered stories such as post-Katrina New Orleans, as well as the diamond industry in Angola, Sierra Leone, DR Congo, Belgium, India, and France. For the diamond essay he worked extensively researching as many aspects of the diamond trade as possible. He followed the diamonds from their origin to their final destinations and everything inbetween. It is incredible that he is able to make the connections and find a way into all of the necessary places to achieve his desired statement. He has a unique eye for being able to see the environment in its entirety but also being able to capture the individuals within it with the same importance. He included two portraits within his essay on Chad that really interested me and stood out. He has an eye for matching his style with his subject. The challenge is to come into the community and find a way to become a fluid piece of it rather than something on the periphery and he has absolutely become an expert at this. It is obvious that he is completely fueled by his passion for the subject matter and willing to put himself into painful and difficult positions in order to try to make a difference.
website : http://www.lohuizen.net/content.html

Heritage

Sometimes I get glimpses of what seem to be fate. While most days I believe that we are in charge of our own destinies it is on occasion comforting to believe that certain instances are more than just coincidence, that perhaps we are all joined in some way. I came home from my last class this afternoon a bit deflated and generally tired. Typically at moments like this I would sit down for a few moments and browse the internet or maybe watch some Daily Show to distract whatever may have been weighing on me, but today both the internet and cable were not working thanks to the glory that is Comcast. I considered watching Hook, one of my favorite films and a sure way to cheer myself up, until I looked over to the coffee table where my roommate had put a book for one of her women’s studies class. I have been devouring books lately and this one was about tracing African American’s lineage, more specifically the efforts of the author in collaboration with many experts to find Oprah’s ancestry. It was also developed as a PBS special that did the same for five other prominent African American figures. At first glance it may seem to be more Oprah overload but admittedly I am a fan of Oprah and in constant amazement of her good deeds and desire to help and educate literally as many people as she is able to reach. The book did not dissapoint. Being the child of a middle class white family I have had many opportunities laid before me. The struggles that my father faced when I was young to feed his three young children while completing a Phd and work his way up from next to nothing have become sketchy memories now that I am approaching my own adulthood. Similarly, to learn more about specific stories of struggles in the Reconstructed south following the Civil War seemed distanced from the life that I lead now. The point of this book was to show that while everything possible was done to erase these names, these heritages, and everything that defines us as humans, today it has become possible to undo this atrocity to a degree. The emphasis the author makes is upon the importance that Oprah’s ancestors placed in education and the need to acquire land and materials to prove their worth in a world where the color of their skin was enough to be killed over, let alone asserting oneself. The other interesting twist in the book came when DNA samples were taken to trace lineage beyond the slaves that only retained a single name and often took the surname of their owner. There is a great blending of DNA, far beyond the context of what we are able to define as race. Many Aftrican Americans have at least a percentage of European heritage and sometimes even Native American heritage as well. By looking at DNA from tribes and cultures that still exist in Africa today, it is possible to locate geographic areas and possible locations that a person is from. Honestly, this blew my mind. While I am a little hesitant to admit it I became almost jealous, and felt guilty the whole time that this pride and this desire to honor those who have come before is something that I feel has been lost at least within my family. Personal struggles within my immediate family have seemingly halted this sense of pride or perhaps the Saunders have been this way all along- I am not sure. Whatever it is this book also assured me in some senses. A large reason behind my motivation to pursue documentary photography and human rights is for stories such as this one. Whether or not many think about it from day to day, we all have connections and are one another’s brothers and sisters in some sense. DNA may state otherwise but our stories are paralleled whether or not we were on the fortunate side of the fence. It is hard to know where to find pride in a legacy that is so overridden in the exact crimes that I feel so strongly about preventing. Perhaps on some sort of overload I also picked up the book “Women” by Annie Leibowitz with an essay from Susan Sontag. It is a collection of photographs of women from all walks of life from truckers, to soldiers, to dancers, to politicians, to actresses, to miners, to researchers. All of these women are mothers, sisters, wives, friends, and have their own stories as well. This is another work that has always conjured the same feelings of a bigger connection for me. For quite some time I had trouble explaining what it was that touched me so deeply with ideas such as these. Finally, after years of feeling this almost suffocating swell that would creep up in me at the strangest of moments a word came to mind and has managed to implant itself within me: humility. I am inspired by how minute and insignificant I am in comparison to others, but I am so incredibly in awe of the opportunities that I am able to pursue and infinitely appreciative of the fact that everyone is tragically flawed- how they have been, and will be that way forever.

Decoys and Disruptions

I recently read an essay from the book "Decoys and Disruptions" written by Martha Rosler. The essay was titled Post-documentary, Post-photography? and dealt with social concerns and context within photojournalism. She touches on the concern of social awareness, subjectification of those being photographed, and other ethical dilemmas that have been brought to light because of documentary photography's nature. A large part of Rosler's discussion is aimed at the need for the awareness of the photographer within their particular subject matter. She goes into the importance of defining one's role and whether or not the photos are taken from the view of an outsider or as one who becomes part of the subject. Obviously, there are challenges with either strategy and neither can be deemed more valid than the other. There is a long tradition within photojournalism as the photographer being completely unbiased although this is not something that draws me towards the medium. For me, the power of photography is its ability to speak. While I would prefer it not be my own voice I realize that my influence is inevitable. She brings up the fact that there are several photographers who have completely immersed themselves within the communities they are shooting and even gave cameras to their subjects. This reference made me think back to an article I saw earlier in the year that had done this with children growing up in a drug infested city in South America. The series was fascinating to me and while this wasnt an idea that I originally had thought of, the concept has become increasingly interesting to me. I love examining the relationships between people and what better way than to see the manner in which they decide to view one another through the lens of a camera. I also have been in the process of starting an internship with Style Weekly and while it is not as much about thinking and creating new ideas to play around with the experience itself is already teaching me a lot. More so than ever, Im feeling that this semester is finally giving me the combination of hands-on work with mental training as well. I am feeling completely stimulated about many of the things going on around me and while there are moments of self-doubt and frustration, I am making some great discoveries along the way. In pro-practice tonight we had guests that are working assistants come in to speak and while it is daunting to hear about the real world it truly motivates me. The goal for this weekend is to just shoot as much as possible. Im trying to let things happen as they may and not be to rigid about expectations. Hopefully something will come of it.

topics

The last week has been somewhat frustrating concerning the areas that I would like to pursue and shoot for my topic. As I discussed with Paul, there are several topics that resonate much more with me than others and it is incredibly important for me to feel that the subject matter in my photos is relevant. Without being inspired by the story behind my work I would feel that it is far less sincere. The idea that seeems to be the most inspiring for me at the moment is confronting the issue of mental health. This is something I have always felt strongly about and even dealt with in previous works but in the last year, my desire to have this avenue explored has only intensified. Blacksburg has been my home since the age of two, on April 16th I was nowhere near the Virginia Tech campus and found out about the shooting through a text message that one of my friends in Florence had recieved. Perhaps I am looking for my own way to grieve, or process all of the emotions that I have experienced over the last few months. I have countless people in my life that have been affected by this tragedy, and my community is only beginning to recover. I didnt plan on saying this much about it all but these are the kinds of things that make me want to deal with documentary photography. My hope is to find a situation where I could talk with those who are struggling, or follow a family who is facing the challenges that come with dealing with mental illness. I realize this is a sticky situation and that there is a lot of red tape, but that is part of the problem. I want there to be less stigmas assocaited with those people whose daily life is affected by these issues. I dont want to breeze in and out. That is not realistic nor can it really allow me to understand the people that I am including and showing in such a vunerable state. I want it to show hope as well. This will obviously be a large undertaking but I am feeling like this is something that I could possibly take somewhere worthwhile.

another article that interested me discussed the mental health issues of returning Iraqi war veterans. This topic is hardly touched by the media or public in general and is starting to have more and more of an impact. The article I found was in Roanoke Times but this is another I located online with the Washington Post.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/02/28/AR2006022801712.html

The Paper Brigade

High school was marked by many things that I would rather not return to. I despised many of the teachers, and the building itself was a prison disguised in the shape of a friendly square with the "library" located at its center. High school was however the beginning of my journey into the world of photos. I took a class thinking it would be fun and it delivered. My teacher was a staunch republican with hate in his heart for Michael Moore but somehow I was able to enjoy the class despite his never-ending rants and constant rotation of Warren Zevon and the song "Wildfire" playing on his G4. While there were plenty of moments that I can live without recalling I did discover my first photo blog and website during my junior year called thepaperbrigade.com. I visited this site often and it was one of the first times i was able to connect with artists and see myself perhaps in the future doing the same things as they did. I hadn't visited the site in probably two years until today and I was truly sad to find out that it no longer existed. There is a documentation of the archives but the site itself only flashed up a cute 404 display alerting me to the brigade's demise. I have looked through some of the photos and while they dont resonate with me in the way that they once did I still have some strong sentimental attachment to this small little bit of the computer universe. Its a part of where I have come from and although i never would have guessed it; a piece of a distinct turning point in my young life.

the important things.

my whole blog got erased. im pissed. rule number one i learned in kindergarten was save all work at regular intervals. some of us really dont learn. Ill try to be sincere although this is round two.


that said:

the things that matter today/most days:
1. being good to the people i care about
2. being good to myself
3. being good to people i dont care about (or havent met)

The part that comes beneath these three things are the details. These are the thoughts that tend to keep me awake until the wee hours of the morning and are the same ones that cycle through my head during my runs regardless of how loud i turn up Dave Grohl's voice on my ipod. Details like how im going to spend the rest of my life, or the phone calls to recently dumped girlfriends that need to be made, or how to turn the remainder of my groceries into a decent meal for the evening. I have been absorbed in the thoughts of right and wrong/ justice vs. injustice and today I looked up at a card I had purchased in the gift store of the Contemporary Museum of art in Barcelona, Spain this Spring. The artist's name is David Shrigly and I happily stumbled upon some of his work as i was wandering the shop. I have a desperate need for humor in my life. Its hard for me to even categorize it in with the details seeing as its such a part of me. The people in my life all have this in common with me as well. While I do love contemplating the ups and downs and equilibriums of our world I am always in search of those who can keep it in perspective and pull us back down if needed.



Carlos Pazos was another artist at the same museum whom I immediately fell in love with. He is bizarre. He is vain. He is tacky. He is vulgar. He is truly gifted and I adore him. It is difficult to find many of his works because he is a Catalan artist based in Barcelona. The show I saw called No Digem Es Res included his display of his toy guitar collection, a performance piece which showed him sitting in an armchair next to a fire reading books one by one until a butler brought in another stack, a postcard collection of akward couples with akward backgrounds trying to look smitten, and a strange theme of Elvis throughout. He counts on our desire to find humor in situations with which we are uncomfortable. I especially love that he can laugh at us knowing that we will be uncomfortable.


*this is unrelated but one of my favorite things to do whenever being forced to listen to bad music;
imagine the artist/s in the studio and then imagine everyone in the booth grooving to the beat enthusiastically as the track plays. Pretty much any shit song has the hope of being saved... well most.